I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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