Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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