I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
