I can tuck mytits in my pants
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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