i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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