He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
