so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
