The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
