1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
