I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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