Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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