you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
