he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
