I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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