Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's never too late to be topless.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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