Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
