At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
FUCK WHALES
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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