But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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