More tranny stories later!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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