you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I smell like Dick and happiness
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
