I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
