the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
