Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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