Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
