yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
