Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
