Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
