before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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