when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
