now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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