so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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