I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
