I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
