im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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