Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize