obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
