I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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