Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
