if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
