I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
