Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
