I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
