Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
