I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
