I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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