I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
