Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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