no, he came in my armpit
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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