I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
