We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
