I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
