I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
