is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
