dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize