is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
