Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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