eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
