therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he thought i was a dude.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
