And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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