Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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