I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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