I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
