I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
