Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
