I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
