What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
