I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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