Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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